Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Croatian's gymnastics career a bust
In a commendable example of original reporting and service journalism, today Sports by Brooks tells its readers the very sad story of former Croatian National Rhythmic Gymnastics Champion Stefany Hohnjec.
At the tender age of 18, Stefany finds herself no longer able to compete in gymnastics because of a tragic glandular problem that has caused her to gain nearly twenty-five pounds - almost entirely in her breasts. In clinical terms, her boobs freaking exploded.
Just a few years ago Miss Hohnjec was a (flat as a) board member of the Eastern European Regional Itty Bitty Titty Committee, as well as a world class gymnast. But today, sadly, she is neither. Hohnjec has been forced into retirement by the oppressive weight of her newly gigantic gazongas, each of which has grown larger and heavier than her head. Hohnjec’s entire center of gravity has been thrown off, and since rhythmic gymnastics does not add points for mammary undulation, jiggling, gainaxing, or general bodaciousness, she’s out. At the age of 18, her gymnastics career is over.